FW: Permits NOT Necessary
joseph at BIO2.COM
Mon Jul 24 13:29:00 CDT 1995
To everyone: Please note that the following message, posted a few minutes
ago, was intended as humor, although many people may not take it as such.
Sarcasm is extremely dangerous, and I would advise against using in the
following manner in an international mailing list. The author probably
inadvertantly offended somebody, which is unfortunate.
Joseph at bio2.com
To: Multiple recipients of list TAXACOM
Subject: Permits NOT Necessary
Date: Monday 24 July 1995 4:12PM
To the Taxonomic Community:
In light of the foolishness evidenced by biologists who spew about the
importance of adhering to the various crackpot laws governing specimen
collection (and thereby lending such laws "scientific" justification), I
propose the following:
Biologist will not collect specimens from any habitat, either in their home
or foreign countries. Rather, in keeping with the spirit of bureaucratic
insanity that goes by the name of "regulation of biological study",
biologists will be encouraged to destroy as much as possible of the fauna
flora of a given region, using the locally approved methods.
For example, Mexican or Belgian entomologists visiting US National Parks
will make a special effort to place ultraviolet "baited" bug zappers at as
many locations within the park as is feasible. This type of "incidental"
destruction, blessed by the Park Service and FWS could be carried out in a
much more systematic way by trained biologists: jelled elecrolyte batteries,
for example, would allow zappers to be used away from their traditional
locations in campgrounds and next to Official Park Administrative edifices.
Conversely, Brazilian or US taxonomists travelling to Mexico or Panama could
circumvent the whole Byzantine process of permit acquisition simply by
avoiding "collection" and instead pursuing annihilation-- much more in the
spirit of the host governments. One way to accomplish this would be to visit
hotels that border woodland, and then, rather than just idly standing by
while the hotel workers kill off thousands of insects every evening with the
liberal application of insecticides to all doorways and common areas, the
foreign visitor could take a "pro-active" stance and extend the perimeter of
destruction through more systematic fogging.
I welcome other suggestions for the "appropriate" destruction of organisms
different countries. Perhaps a data base might be started to help the
visiting biologist avoid the embarrassment that comes from ignorance of
Gena Gulamentum (Ph.D. Candidate)
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